Lanzarote Paradise Found: Hotel Diamar Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the shimmering, sun-drenched world of Lanzarote Paradise Found: Hotel Diamar Awaits! This isn't your typical hotel review; this is a full-immersion, warts-and-all, tell-it-how-it-is confession about a place that promises paradise. And trust me, after a week of rigorous testing (ahem, relaxing), I’m ready to spill the beans.
First Impressions: Arrival and that oh-so-important "Accessibility" Thingy.
Okay, quick confession: I'm not exactly a professional blogger. I'm more like, a highly caffeinated tourist with a penchant for truth-telling (and a serious love for a good pool). Accessibility? Crucial. Hotel Diamar… they say they’re doing it right.
Accessibility: The website bragged about it, and, thankfully, it seems they're mostly walking the walk. Loads of accessible rooms (though I didn't personally test one, I saw them, and they looked good), elevators that actually work, and ramps that aren't death traps. Now, could they improve? Sure. But compared to some places, it's a thumbs up.
Wheelchair Accessible? See above. Seems legit, but always double-check with them directly about specific needs. And hey, if you are using a wheelchair, please tell me your experience to help me sharpen my notes.
Getting Around: Airport transfer? Yup. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. They’ll scoop you up and whisk you away. Car park? Free on-site, major bonus. No circling the block like a desperate vulture. Valet parking? For those who like to feel fancy, you got it.
Rooms: My Personal Sanctuary (Mostly)
Let's talk rooms. Mine? Non-smoking (thank god, because that stale cigarette smell is a dealbreaker). The air conditioning? Blessedly cold. The blackout curtains? Amazing for those lazy morning lie-ins after a night of… well, let's just say, researching the local tapas scene.
- Amenities: They've got the staples: air conditioning (essential!), a mini-bar (always a good idea for secret midnight snacks!), a safe (because, you know, paranoia), and seriously comfy beds (even though my extra-long bed felt a little… extra long).
- Internet: Free Wi-Fi? Check. In ALL the rooms, yes! Although, and I’m being honest here, sometimes the connection felt like it was being beamed from a distant galaxy. It’s not blazing fast, but usable. Internet [LAN]? Haven't tried it.
- Bathroom: Private, with a shower and a bathtub (luxury!). The complimentary toiletries were decent, and the water pressure… chefs kiss. Pure bliss after a day baking your brain under the Lanzarote sun.
- Room Service: 24-hour? Score! Because sometimes, a girl just needs a midnight burger. (Don’t judge.)
Food, Glorious Food! (And the Occasional Hiccup).
Oh, the food. This is where Diamar really shines, and sometimes stumbles.
Restaurants: Restaurant? Plural! There's a main buffet-style restaurant. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are available. Then there is an A la Carte, which will cost you extra.
Breakfast: The breakfast buffet? A beast of deliciousness. Western breakfast, check. Asian breakfast (ramen? I think I saw it), check. Everything is really fresh. My advice? Get there early. Things can get a little chaotic when the crowds descend.
Dining: Here's a positive - Breakfast in room? Also yes! Breakfast takeaway service? Yes! And some really brilliant, individually-wrapped options everywhere.
Special Diets: Alternative meal arrangement, I can see it. Vegetarian restaurant? Not that I saw. Asian Cuisine in restaurant? Seems likely!
Eating Out: Snack bar? A pool-side bar? All good things!
The Cafe: The coffee shop? Ah, that coffee. You know, I found myself in some very good times at that coffee shop – and even better times by that pool.
Relaxation Station: My Personal Spa Experience (and a Minor Panic Attack).
This is where Diamar truly hits the spot.
- The Spa: Pure, unadulterated bliss. I'm talking:
- Sauna: Steamy, purifying goodness.
- Steamroom: Enough with the good stuff!
- Gym/Fitness: Fine. If you're into that sort of thing. I stuck to the spa.
- Massage: Ahhh, the massage. I opted for the "Deep Tissue De-Stress" treatment. Let me tell you, by the end of it I was basically a puddle on the massage table. Pure, unadulterated, melt-into-the-floor happiness.
- Swimming Pool: Beautiful. With a view. And seriously, the pool with view is all the rage.
- Spa/sauna: Yes. All of it.
- Body Scrub: Yes.
- Relaxation: Yes.
- Body Wrap: Nope. Not my thing. I'm already wrapped in deliciousness.
Cleanliness and Safety – Because Let's Be Honest, We’re All a Little Germophobic Now, Right?
Diamar clearly takes this seriously.
- Safety Features: They’ve got fire extinguishers, smoke alarms, and security cameras galore. Feels secure!
- Cleanliness Measures: Sanitized kitchen and tableware items? Check. Staff trained in safety protocol? Yep. Daily disinfection in common areas? You betcha. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Anti-viral cleaning products? I hope so! Though, to be honest, I wasn't checking every single bottle.
- Cashless Payment: Genius!
Things To Do (Beyond Napping by the Pool)
Okay, so you have to explore the island. Diamar gives you a pretty solid basecamp for that.
- Activities: They'll happily set you up with tours, excursions, and all sorts of adventures.
- For the Kids: Family-friendly (yes!), babysitting service (if needed!), and kids facilities. They even have a kids' meal option.
- On-Site Amenities: Gift shop, convenience store, and a shrine. Huh? I didn't even see the shrine. Weird!
The Quirks, The Glitches, The "Meh" Moments
No place is perfect. Let's get real.
- Happy Hour: The happy hour was… meh. Drinks were fine, but didn’t exactly knock my socks off.
- Noise Levels: Some rooms (mine included) could be a little noisy from the outside. Light sleepers, bring earplugs.
- The Website: The Diamar website could be better. It’s a little clunky.
My Honest Verdict: Is Hotel Diamar Worth It?
ABSOLUTELY.
Listen, it's not flawless. No hotel is. But Hotel Diamar has a lot going for it. It's clean, it's comfortable, the food is mostly fantastic, and the spa is a game-changer. Most importantly, it creates a wonderful base for exploring the Canary Islands.
Here’s my pitch, straight from the heart (and fueled by a killer espresso):
Tired of the same old routine? Yearning for sun, sand, and serious pampering? Lanzarote Paradise Found: Hotel Diamar awaits!
Imagine this: You wake up in a spacious, air-conditioned room (with blackout curtains, hallelujah!), step out onto your balcony overlooking a turquoise pool, and breathe in the warm, salty air. You treat yourself to a dreamy massage at the spa, then feast on a buffet breakfast fit for royalty. You explore the breathtaking volcanic landscapes of Lanzarote, then return to Diamar for a sunset cocktail overlooking the ocean.
But here’s the deal: If you're looking for non-stop action, Diamar might not be for you. If you're a grumpy Gus who hates a little bit of imperfection, maybe look elsewhere. But if you’re looking for a truly relaxing escape with a touch of luxury, book your stay at Hotel Diamar NOW.
Use promo code "DIAMARPARADISE" for a special welcome gift! Don't wait – your slice of paradise is waiting!
My final thought? GO!
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Homestay in Kerteh, Malaysia!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is the "I-Survived-Diamar-Lanzarote-and-Lived-to-Tell-the-Tale" version. Get ready for the unvarnished truth, the shaky hands that took the photos, and the questionable decisions made fueled by sangria.
Hotel Diamar Lanzarote: The Unofficial Itinerary (Because Let's Be Honest, "Plans" Are Just Suggestions Here)
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of the Buffet
14:00: Arrived. Jet lag? More like "Jet-lag-and-the-sudden-realization-you-packed-way-too-much-stuff." Checked in. Room… well, it's a room. Balcony is technically present. Sea view? I'm gonna need a magnifying glass. The receptionist, bless her heart, was clearly judging my questionable beach attire. I’m fairly certain she's seen it all, and I'm not sure I want to be added to the collection.
15:00: The buffet. Oh, the buffet. This is where dreams…and your waistline…go to die slowly under the weight of lukewarm sausages and suspect pastries. The sheer volume of food is terrifying. I swear, I saw a single lonely shrimp trying to escape the paella. We made an effort, though. Tried to sample everything. It's like a culinary Hunger Games, except everyone wins (in terms of food intake).
16:00: Poolside. Sun? Check. Lounger? Managed to snag the perfect one, directly in the sun. Minor setback: the relentless DJ playing a non-stop loop of generic reggaeton. I'm pretty sure I can now translate "Yo, quiero cerveza!" in my sleep.
18:00: Attempting to drink a cocktail. Managed one. It tasted mostly of sugar and vague fruit flavors. Decided alcohol would be required.
18:30: Feeling of complete content. I'm pretty sure the cocktail just kicked in. Or maybe it was the sun. Or the sheer relief of being on vacation.
20:00: Dinner. The hotel's dinner buffet is mostly the same as the lunch one, but with different labels. I'm pretty sure the "mystery meat" got a fresh coat of sauce to keep it a mystery. The one thing that was a delight was the desserts.
22:00: I decided to attempt to find a bar for a "real" drink. After a 30-minute exploration, I am convinced the hotel IS the bar. I am now 2 beers deep, and in the mood to dance!
Day 2: Volcanoes, Winds, and a Really Bad Souvenir
- 08:00: Wake up! The sun is shining, maybe a little too intensely. My head hurts. Probably the beer. Definitely the beer. And the sun.
- 09:00: Breakfast buffet. I need something to soak up the beer. The sausages and pastries look less scary this morning.
- 10:00: Day trip to Timanfaya National Park. This is where Lanzarote's volcanic heart beats. The landscape is insane. Mars, but with slightly better weather. Feeling somewhat nauseous, but I will press on.
- 11:00: The bus tour of Timanfaya. Our guide, bless her heart, was trying to maintain her enthusiasm, despite the fact that everyone was sweating and the wind was trying to steal our hats. Watching them pour water into a volcanic vent and have steam shoot out was pretty cool.
- 12:00: The camel ride. Yes, I did it. No regrets. The camel stank of…well, camel. The view from the top was amazing, and the slight feeling of nausea disappeared in the wind.
- 13:00: Lunch. More buffet! This is starting to feel like the only option.
- 14:00: Souvenir shopping. I bought a tiny, plastic volcano that lights up. Dear god, what have I become?
- 16:00: Beach. The beach is a must. The water is crystal clear, and the sand is black. The waves? Surprisingly strong. Almost lost my sunglasses.
- 18:00: Back to the hotel. Shower, because I am absolutely covered in sunscreen. I feel utterly drained, but also content.
- 20:00: Dinner… The theme tonight is "International Buffet." The theme is food. Again. But hey, can't complain. I ate my weight in pasta.
- 22:00: Bar. I found a bar, outside the hotel! Drinks! Dancing! The night is young.
Day 3: Lost in Translation and the Search for Reality
- 09:00: Last day of the buffet. Decided to be brave, and attempt a omelette. Managed to order it entirely in Spanish, I couldn't be prouder.
- 10:00: Tried to explore the town of Puerto del Carmen. Lost. Thoroughly, hopelessly lost. Everyone seems to know where they're going, and I’m pretty sure I'm wandering in circles. This isn't ideal.
- 11:00: Found a beach bar! The view is amazing. I ordered a sangria. The sangria is okay. It's something.
- 13:00: Lunch. Found some tapas. They're delicious, and I'm starting to enjoy this whole "lost" thing.
- 15:00: The sun. The heat is intense. And I decided to take a nap! The best nap of my life, honestly.
- 17:00: Realized I haven't bought any souvenirs yet. Went to the shop, and bought a bottle of local wine.
- 19:00: Packing. I can't believe this vacation is ending.
- 21:00: The last supper. Back to the buffet. Ate way too much.
- 22:00: Saying goodbye to the hotel bar. Goodbyes are hard, even when you're saying them to a place loaded with bad cocktails.
Day 4: Departure
- 06:00: Wake up before the alarm. The airport is calling.
- 07:00: Last breakfast.
- 08:00: Check out of the hotel.
- 09:00: At the airport. Ready to go home.
- 10:00: On the plane, writing this. Tired, but happy. Would I come back to this chaotic island? Maybe. Probably. The buffet is enough motivation on its own.
Final Thoughts:
Hotel Diamar, you were a thing. A weird, lovely, slightly overwhelming thing. I leave with a slightly heavier waistline, a questionable souvenir, and a newfound respect for anyone who can navigate a buffet. But most importantly? With a heart full of memories. Even the slightly embarrassing ones. Adios, Lanzarote! Until we meet again, and until I actually find the real Diamar!
**Anyang Calito Hotel: Your Luxurious South Korean Getaway Awaits!**
So, Diamar… is it *really* paradise? (Don't lie to me!)
Okay, okay, deep breaths. Paradise? Depends on your definition. Did I feel like I'd accidentally wandered into a postcard some mornings? Absolutely. The turquoise water practically *gleamed* at you from the balcony. But… (and there's always a "but," isn't there?) … my "paradise" involved a rogue cockroach encounter on the first night. Let's just say I screamed loud enough to wake the neighbours, which, considering they were probably on Spanish siesta time, was quite the feat. So, paradise with a side of "oh, hell no!" Overall? Yeah, probably paradise. Just be prepared for the occasional island guest. He was very polite, though, in fairness.
What's the deal with the rooms? Are they actually nice? And do they have a decent TV, or just Spanish channels I won't understand?
The rooms... okay, let's be frank. They're not *brand new* modern. Think 'charming, slightly worn, but loved'. My room had a cracking balcony with a view that would genuinely make you weep (in a good way). The furniture? Let's say it had character. The bed was comfy enough, although I did have to wrestle the duvet cover on like a particularly stubborn octopus. But, and this is important: the air conditioning worked! Which, trust me, in Lanzarote, is a lifesaver. The TV? Well, it had *some* English channels, but mostly Spanish. Which meant a lot of staring blankly at the screen and feeling culturally inadequate. I mostly just watched the ocean. Way more entertaining.
Is the food any good? I'm a fussy eater!
The food? Oh, the food. Okay, so I'm *not* a fussy eater. I'll try anything once, really. And the Diamar? The breakfast buffet was a glorious, carbohydrate-laden dream. The usual suspects were there – crispy bacon (hallelujah!), eggs in every style imaginable, and enough pastries to send you into a sugar coma by 10 am. Lunch and dinner? They had different themes each night. One night was Mexican! Which was amazing and I piled my plate so high that I feared it would all topple. Another was canarian night, with all the local dishes. I even tried the papas arrugadas! (Wrinkled potatoes). It was all pretty great, and if there was something I *didn't* like, there was always a simpler option. There. See? Even a fussy eater could survive! (Might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the picture.)
The pool? Give me the gossip! Is it crowded? Is it freezing cold? Is it Instagrammable?
The pool situation... Alright, listen up. THE POOL. This is important. It’s HUGE. Seriously, it's big. And there were different zones, including a kid's area, so you can escape the shrieks if you need to. Was it freezing? Surprisingly, no! It was just perfect. You know, that kind of refreshing you need in the heat. Was it crowded? Sometimes. But there were always enough sunbeds. Though you might need to pull a "grab-a-sunbed-with-a-towel-at-dawn" move if you're particularly attached to a specific spot with the best view. And Instagrammable? Absolutely! Every angle is a photo opportunity. Get ready to flood your feed with perfectly posed poolside shots. Or, you know, just enjoy the sun. I did both.
What's the location like? Easy to get around? Close to the beach? I am NOT a fan of walking!
Location, location, location! Diamar nails it. Right on the seafront in... (checks notes)... Arrecife. Which meant a quick stroll to the beach. And when I say quick, I mean, like, a two-minute walk. And the beach, by the way, is phenomenal. The sand is soft, the water is clear, and you basically have instant access to paradise. Lots of restaurants and shops nearby, too. Public transport? Available but infrequent. I just hired a bloody car! The roads are pretty easy to navigate. You definitely need a car to explore the island, and if, like me, you aren't a fan of walking, then you can drive to most things anyway.
Okay, okay, the *staff* then. Are they nice? Helpful? Do they speak English? (Because my Spanish is, shall we say, *lacking*.)
The staff. Oh, the staff. They were mostly *amazing*. Seriously, they were the real highlight. Friendly, helpful, and genuinely seemed to enjoy their jobs. Most spoke good English, though I did try my very rusty Spanish a few times, mostly mangling it. The service in the restaurant was particularly excellent. A waiter even remembered my coffee order after the second morning! (Which, I might add, is a level of service that deserves a medal in my book.) There was one slight hiccup with a miscommunication about a tour, but it was quickly sorted, with genuine apologies. So, yeah, the staff? Top notch. They really made the Diamar experience something special.
Alright, spill the tea. What's the *worst* thing about the Diamar? Be honest!
Okay, fine. The worst thing? *Deep breath*. It’s a minor thing, really, but… the elevators. Sometimes, you'd wait a while. And sometimes, they'd feel a little… rickety. I’m not great with heights, and every time the elevator jerked to a halt I'd hold my breath! Also, perhaps, the lack of… you know, *nightlife* action. If you're looking for raging parties until dawn, the Diamar probably isn't your scene. But I'm not exactly the party type. The real hard truth? Leaving! That was the worst thing. I swear, I was genuinely sad to go. That view, the staff, the breakfast… I miss it all!
Would you go back? (And be brutally honest, please!)
Would I go back? Without a doubt. In a heartbeat. Seriously. I'm already mentally planning my return. Cockroach encounters and rickety elevators aside, the Diamar was a fantastic experience. It was relaxing, beautiful, and the perfect base for exploring Lanzarote. It's not perfect, sure, but who needs perfection when you've got sunsets over the ocean, amazing food, and a staff that treat you like a friend? Honestly, just thinking about it makes me want to book a flight *right now*. So, yes. Go.Wander Stay Spot
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