House of Aice El Nido: Palawan's Paradise Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the gloriously messy, sun-drenched world of House of Aice El Nido: Palawan's Paradise Awaits! Honestly? Just the name alone, Palawan's Paradise Awaits!, practically screams "Instagrammable bliss!" I'm here for it. Let's rip into this review and dissect whether the reality lives up to the brochure.
Let's get this SEO party started! (because, you know, gotta get found in the Google-sphere, even if I do occasionally ramble)
Accessibility - Can Grandma Get Around?
Alright, let's be real. Accessibility is a HUGE deal, and it's often glossed over. So, what's the deal at House of Aice? Hmmm. Facilities for disabled guests listed. Okay, that sounds promising, but the devil is in the details. We're talking detailed details. Did they have ramps? Elevators? Accessible bathrooms? I'm going to need more intel on this one, folks. More specific information is absolutely necessary. I'd hate for someone to arrive expecting paradise and finding themselves… well, stuck. (I'll update this section with more info! Promise!)
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: This is another area where I'd delve deep into specifics. Are pathways wide enough? Tables with appropriate height? I require more details.
Wheelchair accessible: (See Above! We need specifics!)
Internet Access - Because, You Know, We're All Addicted
Okay, let's be real. We live online. Thankfully, House of Aice seems to understand this harsh reality.
- Internet: Duh. It's the 21st century.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: HALLELUJAH! No more hunting for a decent signal in the lobby while desperately trying to upload that sunset pic. Thank you, Aice!
- Internet [LAN]: Fine, for the serious network-ers.
- Internet services: What kind of services? Let's hope it helps with the slow internet issues.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Essential. See above.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Good for business meetings.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax – Ah, the Good Life!
This is where things get… juicy. Let's list all of the relaxing things, because, hey, this is a vacation, and you deserve it:
- Body scrub: Ooh la la! I'm picturing myself lying on a massage table, getting all my dead skin whisked away. Sounds amazing!
- Body wrap: Okay, I’m intrigued, and ready to be swaddled like a pampered mummy.
- Fitness center: For those of you who feel guilty about eating all that delicious food. I'm not judging. (Much.)
- Foot bath: Ah, feet. The long-suffering extremities. Worth a deep soak for sure!
- Gym/fitness: More fitness, more guilt-free eating. I love it.
- Massage: YES. Always. Never say no to a massage. This is a MUST.
- Pool with view: Sold. Sign me up.
- Sauna: Steam and sweat, here I come!
- Spa: Okay, now we're talking. Full spa experience? Yes, please.
- Spa/sauna: Double the relaxation.
- Steamroom: Steamy goodness.
- Swimming pool: Gotta have a pool. Essential.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Because who doesn't love a swim under the sun?
- Couple's room: Now that's a great touch.
- Proposal spot: Aaaawwww, a proposal spot. Romantic AF. Hope it has a great view!
Okay, folks. I'm starting to sweat just thinking about all the relaxation. But wait, there's MORE!
Cleanliness and Safety – Because We Want to Live to Tell the Tale (COVID-19 Style)
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. VERY good.
- Breakfast in room: Sounds like a great way to start the day!
- Breakfast takeaway service: For rushed mornings!
- Cashless payment service: Modern and convenient.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Excellent.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Just in case.
- First aid kit: Hopefully, won't be needed!
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere, please!
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Essential.
- Hygiene certification: Proof of cleanliness!
- Individually-wrapped food options: Safer food.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Good!
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Great.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: A plus for sensitive guests!
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Fantastic.
- Safe dining setup: Important!
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Crucial!
- Shared stationery removed: Reduces shared germs.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Good to know.
- Sterilizing equipment: More sanitizing power!
So far, so good! House of Aice seems to be taking COVID-19 precautions seriously. That makes me feel happy.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Fueling the Fun!
Here's the breakdown of how to ruin your diet… I mean, enjoy delicious food!
- A la carte in restaurant: Variety is the spice of life!
- Alternative meal arrangement: Important for dietary restrictions.
- Asian breakfast: I'm there!
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Yum!
- Bar: Cocktails anyone?
- Bottle of water: Hydration is KEY.
- Breakfast [buffet]: YES.
- Breakfast service: Getting it right every single morning.
- Buffet in restaurant: My happy place.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Essential.
- Coffee shop: Caffeine fix!
- Desserts in restaurant: Because calories don't count on vacation.
- Happy hour: Bottoms up!
- International cuisine in restaurant: Variety!
- Poolside bar: Oh, HELL yes.
- Restaurants: Multiple options? Please and thank you.
- Room service [24-hour]: This is luxury!
- Salad in restaurant: Gotta try to be healthy… a little.
- Snack bar: For the munchies.
- Soup in restaurant: Warm and cozy.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Nice.
- Western breakfast: For those who are not adventurous.
- Western cuisine in restaurant: More variety!
Services and Conveniences - The Little Things That Matter
- Air conditioning in public area: Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: For meetings, presentations, etc.
- Business facilities: Good for business travelers.
- Cash withdrawal: Helpful.
- Concierge: For all your needs!
- Contactless check-in/out: Modern and convenient.
- Convenience store: For those forgotten essentials.
- Currency exchange: Helpful for international guests.
- Daily housekeeping: Clean sheets, always.
- Doorman: Welcoming touch.
- Dry cleaning: For keeping those vacation clothes looking fresh!
- Elevator: Essential!
- Essential condiments: The small added touches.
- Facilities for disabled guests: (See Accessibility, above! Hoping this is spot on!)
- Food delivery: Great.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Gotta grab a trinket!
- Indoor venue for special events: Nice.
- Invoice provided: Useful for expense reports.
- Ironing service: For keeping your clothes looking sharp!
- Laundry service: Especially when you're living in your swimsuits.
- Luggage storage: Always helpful.
- Meeting/banquet facilities: Business and pleasure.
- Meetings: Business meetings?
- Meeting stationery: For those who actually need them.
- On-site event hosting: Hosting events on-site!
- Outdoor venue for special events: Beautiful for weddings or events!
- Projector/LED display: High-tech displays!
- Safety deposit boxes: For important valuables.
- Seminars: Good for business!
- Shrine: A nice touch!
- Smoking area: For smokers.
- Terrace: Relaxing!
- Wi-Fi for special events: Good for your event!
- Xerox/fax in business center: Useful.
For the Kids – Family Fun!
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House of Aice El Nido: My Soul-Search (and Seafood-Fueled Meltdown) Itinerary (aka "Help Me, I'm Sunburnt and Existentially Confused")
PREAMBLE: Okay, so El Nido. Everyone raves. Instagram is basically a buffet of pristine beaches and impossibly tanned people. I, on the other hand, am a pale, easily-sunburnt, and slightly-below-average mortal. This trip was supposed to be transformative. You know, find myself, connect with nature, learn to meditate… Turns out, a week of paradise can also be a week of existential dread, questionable dietary choices, and a whole lot of sand in places you really don't want sand.
DAY 1: Arrival & The Great Mosquito Massacre (and the promise of something…more? maybe?)
- 15:00: Touchdown at El Nido Airport (ENI). Ugh, the heat. Instantly regret my decision to wear black. Smother myself in sunscreen. Already questioning my life choices.
- 15:30: Transfer to House of Aice. The tricycle ride is… an experience. Dodging potholes, smelling exhaust fumes, and clinging on for dear life. The driver, bless his soul, seems to be taking the "life is a rollercoaster" metaphor way too literally.
- 16:00: Check in. OMG, the view. Pictures don't do it justice. Lush greenery, turquoise water, perfect little cove. Seriously, jaw-dropping. I'm already feeling a tiny flicker of hope. Maybe this will be transformative.
- 16:30: Mosquito Massacre. Part 1. My room, bless its minimalist heart, is a mosquito breeding ground. Spend the next hour battling tiny vampires with a weak-ass mosquito coil. Victorious… for now.
- **18:00: Sunset Cocktails at the House of Aice. ** Trying to be cool, sipping a (very overpriced) margarita. The sunset is ridiculous. Like, straight out of a postcard. Briefly forget about the mosquito bites. Brief.
- **19:00: Dinner at the House of Aice. ** Grilled fish… simple, fresh, and utterly delicious. Suddenly, everything feels right with the world, except the growing itchiness of my bites.
DAY 2: Island Hopping & My Near-Death Snorkeling Experience (and the realization that I'm probably not a mermaid)
- 08:00: Wake up. Sunburn already. Curse my Irish heritage. Stuff myself with complimentary breakfast.
- **09:00: Island Hopping Tour A. ** Alright, let's do this. Ready to be amazed. Ready to find myself.
- 09:30: Secret Lagoon. Crowded. A bit claustrophobic. Still pretty, though. Take Instagram pics. Pretend I'm not slightly panicking about the number of people.
- 10:30: Big Lagoon. Kayaking. It's beautiful. I'm terrible at kayaking. Keep ramming into the rocks. Manage to avoid capsizing. Consider myself a winner.
- 11:30: Shimizu Island. Snorkeling. This is it. The moment where I become one with the sea. Except… the water is a little choppy, the snorkel keeps fogging up, and I'm pretty sure I swallowed half the ocean. Almost drown. Vow to never snorkel again.
- 12:30: Lunch on a boat. More grilled fish. Slightly overcooked, but still amazing. Stare longingly at the non-snorkeling tourists.
- 14:00: 7 Commando Beach. More crowds. More sun. Find a shady spot. Attempt to read, but keep getting distracted by the beauty. Then get distracted by a rogue wave… and get drenched. Decide beach life is officially overrated.
- **16:00: Back to House of Aice. ** Collapse. Reapply sunscreen (again). Plot my revenge on the mosquitoes.
- **19:00: Dinner at a little restaurant in town. ** Order more seafood. This time, fried calamari. It's… okay. Realize I've spent almost the entire day in a state of mild panic. Maybe tomorrow I will try that meditation thing…
DAY 3: Las Cabanas, Yoga & A Pizza-Fueled Existential Crisis
- 09:00: Sleep in! Huzzah. The mosquitoes seemed to have taken the night off. I'm revitalized.
- 10:00: Head to Las Cabanas beach. Ahhh, this is more like it. Less crowded. Perfect sand. The iconic swingset. I'm finally feeling the vibes I saw on Instagram, but without feeling the pressure to perform it.
- 12:00: Yoga Session: I finally give the yoga I'd been putting off a go. I'm not sure if it was the heat, the lack of practice or the weird positioning… but after a few poses I started to feel a bit nauseous and lightheaded. I didn't exactly find myself. This was just a reminder that I'm not built for intense physical activity in humid conditions. The instructor was kind enough to let me recover in the shade, feeling both embarrassed and relieved.
- 14:00: Pizza and existential crisis. Okay, so I found a great pizza place. The pizza was phenomenal, but the combination of sun, yoga, and delicious pizza led to a full on existential crisis. I'm sitting there, alone, on a tropical island, eating pizza. What am I even doing with my life? Am I happy? Am I fulfilling my potential? Suddenly the beautiful beach doesn't feel beautiful anymore.
- 17:00: Back to House of Aice. The sunset is beautiful again, but this time I'm too busy wrestling with pizza-induced thoughts to enjoy it.
DAY 4: The Great Seafood Debacle (a.k.a. When My Stomach Wages War)
- 08:00: Wake up. Feeling slightly sick. Blame the pizza. Ignore pangs of guilt about the previous day's excesses and vow to be healthier.
- 09:00: Breakfast. More fruit. The "healthy" regime begins!
- 10:00: Beach day. More sun, more sand, less existential dread. At least, for a while.
- 13:00: Lunch at a restaurant in town. I'm craving seafood. Ordering all the things. Shrimp, fish, squid. My stomach does a little happy dance.
- 15:00: The Seafood Debacle begins. Okay, so maybe I overdid it. My stomach is not happy. Everything is… turning. I start sweating. And not in a good way. Race back to the hotel.
- 15:30: Emergency Bathroom Retreat. Things get… messy. Vow to never eat seafood again. Ever.
- 16:00-12:00: Bed rest. Liquid diet. Intense regret. Consider calling a doctor. Decide to tough it out. Pray to the porcelain god (repeatedly). This is not the transformative experience I signed up for.
- 19:00: The Crisis Contunues. Nothing. I'm just thinking about how I'm never eating seafood again.
DAY 5: Recovering & Regrets
- 09:00: Wake up. Still alive. Slightly less green around the gills. Hurrah!
- 10:00: Breakfast. Bland. Boring. Necessary.
- 11:00: Easy breezy tour of the house. I'm actually considering the pool.
- 13:00: Afternoon nap.
- 16:00: Consider trying out the beach again.
- 18:00: I watch the sunset, finally remembering why I came.
DAY 6: Leaving El Nido.
- 09:00: Check out from house of Aice.
- 09:30: Transfer to El Nido Airport (ENI).
- 10:00: Depart. Never look back.
POST-SCRIPT: Okay, so El Nido didn't exactly transform me. I didn't find enlightenment. I almost drowned, had a near-death seafood experience. But… the sunsets were incredible. The water was ridiculously turquoise. And even though I'm slightly more sunburnt and mentally scarred than when I arrived, I secretly miss it. Maybe next time I'll bring more sunscreen, a better snorkel, and a very, very cautious approach to the seafood. And maybe, just maybe, I'll actually try that meditation thing.
Istanbul's Hidden Gem: Metrolux Hotel Unveiled!
Okay, spill the beans! What’s the *real* deal with House of Aice El Nido? Is it actually paradise, or just… Instagram-paradise?
Alright, alright, let's get real. I went. I saw. I ate way too much ice cream (more on that later). Is it paradise? Dude, parts *definitely* are. The turquoise water? Insane. The towering limestone cliffs? Jaw-dropping. But, and this is a BIG but, it’s not *perfect* paradise. It's filtered paradise, if you know what I mean. It's stunning, but you're still going to sweat like you've run a marathon just walking to your bungalow.
So, the ice cream… what's the hype all about? Did you turn into a melt-down mess?
Oh. My. God. The ice cream. Okay, so, Aice. This is their whole shtick, right? They have all these fancy flavors, like "Ube Dream" (which, by the way, *is* dreamy) and some weird durian thing that I was too chicken to try. I’m not even a huge ice cream person! But, it's HOT there, you're constantly in the sun, and suddenly, a perfectly chilled scoop of something creamy and delicious? Pure bliss. I think I had, like, four in one day. Don't judge me! Okay, maybe judge me a little. I'm still recovering from that sugar rush. I swear, I thought I'd be bouncing off the walls all night. Honestly, I did get a tummy ache, and I felt a little guilty about how many I ate, but... WORTH IT.
Is it *expensive* expensive? Like, "sell-a-kidney-to-go-there" expensive?
Okay, yeah. It’s not budget backpacking, that's for sure. Think... maybe slightly above mid-range? You're paying for the location, the views, the *experience*. Food on the island is generally a bit pricier, so factor that in. Cocktails? Prepare to cough up a little. But, and here's a pro-tip I figured out *after* I spent a ridiculous amount of money: look for local eateries away from the main strip. You can find amazing food at a fraction of the price. My wallet is still weeping a little remembering how much I spent on the first lunch. Lesson learned!
What's the best way to get there? And, like, how brutal is the travel?
Ugh, the travel. Prepare yourself. It's not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump. You've usually got a flight to the El Nido airport (ENI). That's the easiest. Or, you fly into Puerto Princesa (PPS) and then take a van. The van ride takes… a while. Like, a scenic, winding, slightly-car-sick-inducing while. The road is not the smoothest, and Google Maps might *lie* to you about travel times (it's always longer). The first time I did the van ride, I swear I thought my internal organs were going to rearrange. The second time? I was better prepared with motion sickness pills, but still a little green around the gills. BUT. Once you're there? Totally worth it. Just... pack some snacks and maybe a barf bag, just in case.
What are the actual *rooms* like? Are they glamorous, or... glamping?
Okay, so, I stayed in one of those adorable bungalows. Very cute, very Instagrammable. It had wooden floors, a mosquito net (essential!), and a balcony overlooking the water. The AC was a godsend. The bathroom? Basic, but functional. Honestly, after a day of swimming and sun, you just want a clean bed and a cold shower. They are not five-star luxury hotel rooms but they are comfortable. One little hiccup: There was a gecko living above my door. I'm not a fan of geckos. He was cute, I guess, but I kept expecting him to fall on me. I spent half the night convinced he was going to crawl in the window. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. A little. But it was a *memorable* experience!
Is there Wi-Fi? Because let's be real, we gotta document this stuff.
Ah, Wi-Fi. It's there! But… *proceeds with caution*. Let's just say it's not the fastest. It's functional enough to check your emails and post a few sunset pics, but don't expect to stream Netflix. Embrace the digital detox! Honestly, it's probably a good thing. You'll be too busy kayaking, snorkeling, or just staring at the incredibly blue water to care about the internet anyway. Although, I did spend a solid hour trying to upload a video. Gave up and just enjoyed the sunset. Best choice ever.
What are the MUST-DO activities? What's actually worth it?
Okay, listen up! Island hopping is a MUST. Make sure you choose a tour that fits your vibe. There are various tours with different routes, like A, B, C, and D – each visiting different lagoons, beaches and snorkeling spots. I went on Tour A and it's where a LOT of the iconic photos of El Nido are from. Be prepared for crowds, though! The lagoons are stunning, but you’re not the only one who thinks so. Kayaking through Secret Lagoon was *magical*, even though I nearly capsized my kayak (again). Snorkeling? The fish are plentiful and colorful. Big Lagoon. Small Lagoon. Nacpan Beach! That’s a beach that goes for miles. It’s absolutely huge and gorgeous. Then there's the sunset. Find a bar on the beach and just... watch the colors explode across the sky. And oh god, the star gazing at night, it's like you can touch the stars! Don't miss a single sunset or sunrise if you go! You can't.
Alright, so what's the *worst* part? Spill the tea!
Okay, honesty hour. The crowds can be overwhelming. Especially at the popular spots. It felt sometimes like you were on a conveyor belt of tourists. You need to have a bit of patience, a willingness to share space, and maybe a small dose of claustrophobia resistance. And let's be frank, some of the accommodations are a bit rustic. Don't expect perfectly manicured perfection; expect a little bit of grit. Oh, and the sandflies on the beach? They're not joking. Slather yourself in bug spray. Trust me on this one. A few itchy nights really put a damper on the vibe.
Would you go back?Smart Traveller Inns
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