Luxury Redefined: Nobile Suites Excelsior Asuncion Awaits
Luxury Redefined: Nobile Suites Excelsior Asuncion Awaits - Honestly, is it THAT Lux? (My Messy Review)
Okay, people. Let’s get real. I just emerged, blinking, from the Nobile Suites Excelsior in Asuncion. And honestly? It’s going to take a few shots of Paraguayan tereré to untangle my thoughts. They promised luxury redefined. Did they deliver? Well… that's a layered question, like a good sopa paraguaya. Here's the lowdown, unfiltered. Buckle up, buttercups.
Accessibility, A Lifesaver (Mostly):
First off, a big thumbs up for accessibility. They've got the basics covered: Accessible rooms, elevators that actually work (a win in itself!), and a general layout that doesn’t make you feel like Indiana Jones trying to navigate a temple. Wheelchair accessible? Yep, tick that box. Important.
Rooms: My Temporary Sanctuary (and My Complaints):
The room? Alright, I'll be candid. That air conditioning? Absolute gold, especially when the Asuncion sun is trying to melt your face off. Blackout curtains? Saved my sanity on a few late mornings after one too many caipirinhas at the bar. The bed? Extra long… which was a godsend after my flight. They did the little things right – decent toiletries, complimentary bottled water (a lifesaver, seriously), and a safe for your passport (always a good idea!).
However, the “luxury” bit? It’s… subtle. I wouldn’t call it opulent. Don't get me wrong, the carpeting was nice. The room was clean. But that 'mirror' they had was more like a distorted funhouse mirror. Maybe the lighting could have been a touch better. But again, I'm being picky. They do have every single room with internet access, including Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! which is pretty vital these days. The Internet access – LAN, and Internet services are all available
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Secure (Except for My Hangover):
COVID-19 times, am I right? I was, admittedly, a little twitchy about all this. The Excelsior gets good marks. They’re clearly trying. Daily Disinfection in common areas? Check. Staff trained in safety protocol? Seems like it. Hand sanitizer everywhere you look? Yep. They do the job. And that individually-wrapped food options are appreciated, especially for a takeaway service. They have rooms sanitized between stays, and a safe dining setup. Plus, Doctor/nurse on call. All good. Anti-viral cleaning products? I didn't dive into the bottle, but I'll take their word for it.
Okay, let me tell you about the shared stationery removed detail. Why is this something I notice? I was literally reaching for a pen during breakfast, ready to write down a brilliant travel idea, and POOF! No pens. I had to grab my phone, and this small thing threw me off a bit. But, moving on.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Varied, If Imperfect, Experience:
The food… Ah, the food. The Breakfast [buffet] was pretty good. Good enough to fill me up and keep me going, but it also features a buffet in restaurant. They had a decent selection of Western breakfast. They also offered an Asian breakfast and Asian cuisine in restaurant. The bars were great, and the Poolside bar was a must for a quick drink. They had an A la carte in restaurant. They even had a coffee shop and served coffee/tea in restaurant. However, the a la carte in restaurant was a bit slow. And the service could be a little bit better, but it's not the end of the world.
Things To Do, Ways To Relax: From Spa to Snoozefest (Sometimes):
Alright, the spa. Where do I begin. I decided to treat myself to a massage. I was so ready to unwind. They have a spa/sauna, a steamroom, and even a foot bath. But I'll be honest with you, the massage I got? It was alright. It wasn’t bad, by any means, but it wasn't a life-changing experience. The massage wasn't that great. And then, the sauna was good!
Otherwise, they have a fitness center, a swimming pool and swimming pool [outdoor]. There is even a Pool with view, which is amazing. You can even do some Body scrub or Body wrap.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter:
They've got the basics covered. From Daily housekeeping to Luggage storage to Dry cleaning. Car park [free of charge]. They even provide Essential condiments. Nice. Concierge? Extremely helpful. They did provide the currency exchange.
One thing that stood out, a small thing but it mattered: They have facilities for disabled guests, which is important. They even provide Invoice provided, if you're on a business trip.
For The Kids
They have a Family/child friendly option, which is great.
Getting Around
I used the Taxi service to get around. Airport transfer, but that's the only way.
What's Missing?:
- More Personality: The place is efficient, clean, well-run. But it lacks soul. It plays it very safe.
- The "Wow" Factor: While comfortable, it wasn't the jaw-dropping experience the name might suggest.
Final Verdict: Book it? Maybe, If…
Look, if you're looking for a solid, reliable hotel in Asuncion with good accessibility that offers a decent stay, then the Nobile Suites Excelsior is worth consideration. It's clean, safe, and offers essential amenities.
My Offer (Don't Tell Them I Said This!):
"Escape the Ordinary: Embrace the Surprisingly Underrated! Book your stay at Nobile Suites Excelsior Asuncion this week and get a complimentary drink coupon for the poolside bar (yes, the one with the view!). Use code "UNFILTEREDASUNCION" at checkout and I'll personally write you a list of the best sopa paraguaya spots in the city (because trust me, it's essential knowledge). Plus, free upgrade if available! (Subject to availability, but you know, crossing my fingers for you!) SEO Keywords to get you found:
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- Hotel Deals Asuncion Disclaimer: My standards for "luxury" might be different than yours. I base it off of how much I enjoyed the place as a whole. I'm an average traveler, and I'm always looking for a comfortable place to stay. My review is based on my personal experience and I was not paid to write this. So take it as you will.
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! We're talking a messy, honest, funny, and absolutely human itinerary for a stay at the Nobile Suites Excelsior Asuncion in, get ready, ASUNCION, PARAGUAY! (My brain is still processing that one, honestly.)
Operation: Paraguayan Pandemonium (and Possible Paradise)
Day 1: Arrival & Bewilderment (and maybe a tiny, triumphant "Woohoo!")
- 06:00 - 08:00: Flight from… wherever the heck I'm coming from. (Let's assume Buenos Aires because, you know, proximity and ease of travel. I'm already tired, let's not add jetlag from some trans-Pacific flight. Ugh.)
- 08:00 - 08:30: Arrive at Silvio Pettirossi International Airport (ASU). Pray to whatever deity handles baggage handling that my suitcase actually makes it this time. Last time, I spent three days surviving on granola bars and the sheer will to live. Not. Again.
- 08:30 - 09:00: Taxi/Uber to Nobile Suites Excelsior. Let's hope the driver speaks some English. My Spanish is… let's just say it's "enthusiastically broken." I'm picturing a frantic pantomime of pointing, smiling, and possibly imitating a car horn. Wish me luck!
- 09:00 - 10:00: Check-in. This is where things could get tricky. Booking always looks smooth, but the actual check-in process? Always an adventure. Pray for a friendly front desk person who doesn't mind my general disorientation. Hopefully, the room is ready. If it isn't, I will probably take a nap on a sofa.
- 10:00 - 12:00: Room Reconnaissance & De-Stress. Okay, room. Assess. Is the Wi-Fi decent? (Crucial! I have to upload photos of this madness.) Is the bed comfy? (My back demands luxury.) Is the shower pressure strong enough to wash away weeks of stress? (Please, God, let it be strong.) unpack everything and let the travel-worn muscles relax. I hope the room is something like I imagine.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Lunch at a local restaurant near the hotel (maybe). After the flight and a bit of stress, I'll need some fuel. I will have to find a good Paraguyan restaurant. I hope it is not too greasy.
- 13:00 - 16:00: Initial exploration. I should venture out and experience the heart of the city. Walking around and observing people is the way to understand any city. I hope I will encounter interesting or quirky things.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Back to the room. The day could be tiring and I want to relax.
- 17:00 - 19:00: Happy Hour at the hotel bar! This is what traveling is about. This is the time to relax and maybe order a few drinks.
- 19:00 - 20:00: Dinner. I'll go and enjoy some delicious food.
- 20:00 - 22:00: Relaxing.
Day 2: Culture Shock and Coffee Bliss (and Possibly a Near-Death Experience – Kidding!… Mostly.)
- 08:00 - 09:00: Wake up. Breakfast at the hotel (hopefully not just sad, sad continental fare). I'm praying for some sort of interesting local food. Maybe. Coffee, always coffee. I need it to face the Paraguayan morning.
- 09:00 - 12:00: Plaza de la Independencia & Government Buildings. Okay, tourist mode: ACTIVATED. Embrace the history! See the sights! Take a million photos of the Presidential Palace. Hopefully, the guards aren't armed, and I don't accidentally wander into a restricted area. I'm prone to that.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Lunch somewhere near the Plaza. Maybe something with local flavor? I am open to trying new things, but I also have a sensitive stomach. Let's hope it's not a gamble.
- 13:00 - 16:00: Museo del Cabildo + National Pantheon of the Heroes. More history! More culture! More photos! I'm already envisioning myself getting hopelessly lost. Also, I hope that the pantheon is like the pantheon that I imagine.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Coffee Break. Another one is a must. I need a caffeine fix.
- 17:00 - 19:00: Walking tours. I always enjoy it. Usually, I would ask locals about the coolest places or places to visit, and I would go to them.
- 19:00 - 20:00: Dinner. I think I will have to eat something from the streets.
- 20:00 - 22:00: Relaxing.
Day 3: River Adventures (and the Art of Not Getting Eaten by Capybaras)
- 08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast. Coffee is a must!
- 09:00 - 12:00: Boat trip on the Paraguay River (if possible). This is where things get interesting. I’ve heard the river can be beautiful. I hope the boat is sturdy and that I won't be seasick and drown. Praying I see some wildlife. Maybe a capybara! (But from a safe distance, I'm not trying to get eaten by one.)
- 12:00 - 13:00: Lunch: Fish, if I'm feeling brave.
- 13:00 - 16:00: Back to the hotel. Relaxing and packing the suitcase.
- 16:00 - 17:00: Last Coffee.
- 17:00 - 19:00: Last walk through the city and last shopping.
- 19:00 - 20:00: Last dinner.
- 20:00 - 22:00: Relaxing.
Day 4: Departure & Reflection (and Mild Panic)
- 08:00 - 09:00: Breakfast. Try to remember the good parts. The coffee. The people. Don't focus on the potential for language barrier mishaps. Smile, breathe… and maybe have a small, celebratory cry.
- 09:00 - 10:00: Check out. This is the dreaded moment. Hope I don't leave anything behind (again).
- 10:00 - 10:30: Taxi/Uber to the airport. Try not to freak out about missing my flight. I'm sure it will be fine.
- 10:30 - 12:00: Airport chaos. Security lines, duty-free temptation, the overwhelming urge to buy souvenirs. I will probably overspend.
- 12:00: Flight. Finally. Time to relax, reflect on the wonderful, weird, and probably slightly chaotic experience that was Asuncion, and start planning the next adventure.
Important Considerations:
- Language: My Spanish is terrible, so I will be relying on a translation app, hand gestures, and the kindness of strangers. Wish me luck!
- Food: I’m adventurous but also have a sensitive stomach. This will be a tightrope walk.
- Pace: This is a rough outline. I embrace the unexpected. I'm prepared to get sidetracked by a stray cat, a bizarre market stall, or a particularly interesting street musician. The flexibility is key, and that's what makes the adventure enjoyable.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: I’m expecting the trip to be a mixture of exhilaration, mild panic, sheer wonder, and the occasional moment of "What on earth am I doing here?" That's the beauty of travel, right?
- My Expectations: I expect that this trip will be an amazing experience. I will be able to see the beauty of the city, the kindness of the people, and I will experience new things.
So, there you have it! A brutally honest, slightly messy, and hopefully entertaining glimpse into my Paraguayan adventure. Wish me luck, and may my suitcase arrive intact!
Escape to Paradise: Echor Palm Bliss Riverside Resort & Spa, Kasol
Okay, So You're Thinking About Nobile Suites Excelsior? Buckle Up...
1. Is it TRULY "Luxury Redefined"? Because let's be honest, marketing is a LIE, isn't it?
Okay, deep breaths. "Luxury Redefined"? Look, I’ve seen some *stuff*. Hotels where “luxury” apparently means a slightly nicer towel than the ones they give you in prison.
The Excelsior? Look, it's *mostly* true. The lobby? Gorgeous. Think "slightly faded grandeur, but in a good way." Like a beautiful, old aunt who still wears her pearls. And then you get to the room... well, my room had a view that literally took my breath away. Not because it was a masterpiece of architectural design, but because… wait for it… *they hadn't cleaned the window yet.* But the view, once I cleaned it myself (kidding… mostly), was spectacular. So, yeah, luxury-ish. But not polished-shiny-perfect-robot luxury. More… well-loved luxury. Does that make sense? Probably not.
2. What's the deal with the pool? Is it Insta-worthy or... chlorine-y abyss?
The pool… alright let’s be real, I'm a pool snob. I like my pools sparkly clean, with unobtrusive service, and a perfect margarita at my beck and call. This pool? It *mostly* delivers.
One day I spent like, a solid three hours by that pool, and at one point, a stray poodle wandered by. And you know what? The staff barely noticed! Apparently, canine visitors are a regular thing. At first, I was annoyed. Then, I kind of loved it. It felt… real. Unscripted. My margarita? Perfectly adequate. The chlorine levels? Manageable. Insta-worthy levels? Almost. (My filter skills need work). But the overall vibe? Relaxed. Unpretentious. And hey, if a poodle wants to hang out, who am I to judge?
3. Food, Glorious Food. What's the Breakfast Situation? Am I doomed to eat sad, lukewarm scrambled eggs and soggy bacon?
Breakfast! Okay, this is where things get… interesting. The breakfast buffet is a mixed bag. On the plus side, they *do* have scrambled eggs. They also have some pretty amazing pastries. And coffee, thankfully, that’s drinkable.
The letdown? Well, the coffee wasn’t quite strong enough for me. I am a coffee fiend. And the scrambled eggs, well, sometimes they were a bit… rubbery. But, and here’s the redeeming factor: There was a chef making omelets to order. He was such a sweetheart! Every morning I would ask for a custom omelet, and that man would make me it to my exact specifications. One morning, I asked for an omelet loaded with cheese and ham. The chef, with the kindest look in his eyes, looked at me, smiled, and said, “Senorita, *you* are the queen of cheese!.”
Honestly, that alone nearly made the whole trip worthwhile!
4. The Staff: Are they helpful or will I spend the entire vacation yelling at people for basic necessities?
The staff... okay, this is where the Excelsior shines. Seriously. They were *lovely*. Like, genuinely kind and helpful. My Spanish is… well, let's just say my attempts at ordering a taxi were met with polite but confused smiles. They even helped me with the taxi thing! Seriously, I remember one time, I was completely lost, trying to find a decent shoe store. One of the concierge guys, I think his name was Javier, literally walked me three blocks, and made sure I got the shoes. This is not typical! This is next-level service. Were there a few minor hiccups? Sure. Sometimes the phones didn't work. The internet was a little dodgy in my room. But overall? Amazing. They made me feel like a welcome guest, and not just another paying customer. That matters. A LOT.
5. Location, Location, Location! Is it actually in a good spot, or am I going to be spending all my time in a taxi?
Okay, the Excelsior's location is pretty darn good. Close enough to the good stuff (restaurants, shopping etc..), but far enough away that you don't feel like you're in the thick of it, all the time. You can walk to a lot of places (bonus!), and taxis are plentiful and relatively cheap. I mean, I did spend a solid 30 minutes once trying to hail a cab in the pouring rain. But that might have been my fault, as I don't really speak Spanish. Still, overall, a win on the location front. My feet weren't constantly aching.
6. The Rooms: Are they actually suites? Or is it just a fancy way of saying "slightly larger than a shoebox?"
Okay. *Suites*. That's what they promised. And, you know what? They delivered on the *suite* part. My room was decently sized. Separate living area, bedroom, and a bathroom that wasn't cramped! I had a lovely view, as I already mentioned (even after the window cleaning debacle). The furniture, though, well, it was a bit... old. But that’s part of the charm, right? You know, "vintage" and "character" and all that jazz. And the bed was comfortable, which, let's face it, is the most important thing anyway. Especially after you've been hoofing it around all day.
7. Okay, spilling. What's the ONE thing I should be prepared for that the brochure *won't* tell me?
Right... the ONE thing? Okay, here's the real deal: Be prepared for a little, and I mean *little*, bit of noise. It is a downtown hotel, after all. You might, on occasion, hear the city wake up. At first, I was annoyed. "Ugh, are you *kidding* me?" I thought. But then, I realized it's part of the experience. It's the sound of Asuncion, bustling and vibrant. And you know what? By the second day, I didn't even notice it. It actually became kind of... comforting.
8. The Spa! Is it a relaxing haven or a glorified closet?
The spa... I have a confession. I am a massive, massive, MASSIVE spa snob. I have high standards. I crave a quiet oasis, soft music, and a massage that melts away all my earthly worries. The Excelsior spa? It didn't completely knock my socks off, but it was perfectly *adequate*. The massage was nice, the staff were friendly, and the essential oils smelled decent. I had a slightly less than excellent experience but it wasn’tStay Mapped
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