Forbidden Paradise: The Old Farm Asfodeli (Adults Only, Porto San Paolo)
Forbidden Paradise: The Old Farm Asfodeli - My Messy, Honest Truth (Porto San Paolo)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I’m about to spill the tea on Forbidden Paradise: The Old Farm Asfodeli. Forget the polished brochures and stock photos, this is the real deal. And I'm not just talking about the "adults only" part (wink, wink). This place… well, it's got a certain je ne sais quoi. Let's dive in, shall we?
First off, the Aesthetics - A Warning & a Promise:
This place, Forbidden Paradise, is definitely not your cookie-cutter, sterile hotel experience. It’s got… character. Think old farmhouse meets… well, paradise. The website says "adults only," which should tell you everything. There's a certain rustic charm, a sort of, "we're not fancy, but we get it" vibe. If you crave sleek, modern minimalism, RUN. If you crave a place to unwind, breathe fresh air, and forget what day it is, keep reading.
The Room: My Sanctuary… and Slightly Imperfect (But in a Good Way!)
My room? Oh, it was a solid win. You've got all the usual suspects: air conditioning (THANK GOD), free Wi-Fi (essential!), a mini-bar, and a seriously comfy bed with extra-long length. Blackout curtains? Awesome. That bathtub? Sigh… perfect for a long soak with a glass of wine (provided by me, naturally!). They have slippers, robes and amenities, and a whole bunch of other little things I appreciated. It didn't feel stuffy. It was lived in in a way that felt good.
The WiFi? Absolutely free and, more importantly, reliable. I could binge-watch trashy reality TV without buffering, and that, my friends, is a luxury. Plus, you can get it in all the rooms, and in the public areas too, which is great.
I will say this: the soundproofing wasn't perfect. One night, I think I heard someone laughing, a sound that I felt, honestly, quite envious of. It's not a huge deal if you're a deep sleeper, but pack earplugs if you're easily disturbed.
Wellness & Relaxation: Let's Get Steamy! (Literally)
Okay, the spa? This is where things get seriously good. They have a sauna, a steam room, and a pool with a view (honestly, the view alone is worth the price of admission).
I spent a solid two hours doing absolutely nothing but drifting in and out of the steam room. My skin felt like a baby's butt afterward. And that pool! I swear, I could've stared at the view all day. The water was the perfect temperature, and the whole vibe was just… zen.
They also have a gym/fitness center, but let’s be honest, I only looked at it. My idea of exercise on vacation involves walking from the pool to the bar. You do you. They also offer body wraps, body scrubs, and massages of all kinds.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: A Feast for the Senses (and My Stomach)
The restaurant experience was a highlight. They have a menu that leans towards international cuisine, with an emphasis on fresh, local ingredients. Their pasta was divine. They also offer a buffet at breakfast and a la carte options.
The poolside bar is a must. They mix a mean cocktail, and the atmosphere is just perfect. Especially when the sun starts to set. They have a vast array of choices from salads to desserts.
Vegetarian options exist too, and they were pretty good. Not a dedicated vegetarian restaurant, but they make an effort.
Room Service is a 24-hour dream, and I may or may not have taken full advantage of that on several occasions.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Safe, Feeling Good
Okay, I care about this. Let's be real, especially after the last few years.
- They had hand sanitizers everywhere.
- Visible daily disinfection.
- They provide anti-viral cleaning products.
- Rooms sanitized between stays.
- The cleaning staff were wearing masks and gloves.
- I felt reassured.
Accessibility & Other Essentials:
- Accessibility: I didn't personally need it, but I saw facilities for disabled guests, and it seemed pretty wheelchair-friendly. If accessibility is crucial for you, I’d recommend contacting them directly to confirm specific details.
- Internet Access: They provide Internet, including LAN, WiFi, and the ability to get it in your room.
- Services and Conveniences: They have things like a concierge, daily housekeeping, luggage storage, laundry service, cash withdrawal, and a gift shop. Basically, you can relax because someone else will take care of the boring stuff.
Things to Do (Beyond Sunbathing and Napping):
- They will organize events for you.
- They also provide meeting and seminar facilities.
- They have a shop.
- There's a terrace, and a shrine.
- Plenty of things to do in the neighborhood too.
The Not-So-Pretty Bits (and Why They Don't Matter):
- The "Family/Child Friendly" section is listed for a bit of a laugh. This place is not for kids. Thank GOD.
- Parking! Free parking on site, which is a huge bonus.
- They also have a bunch of cool things you don't care about: like a convenience store, a doctor on call, and a smoking area.
The Verdict: Should You Go?
YES. If you are looking for a place to fully relax, get away from it all, not worry about the kids, eat good food, drink good wine, and recharge your batteries, then yes. If you’re looking for a glamorous, super-slick hotel, this isn’t it.
Remember though, it's "adults only."
My Verdict
Forbidden Paradise: The Old Farm Asfodeli is worth it. It's the kind of place that makes you exhale as you step inside. It’s not perfect, but its flaws only add to its charm. It's refreshingly real. If you’re seeking a little slice of paradise, book it. You won't regret it.
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Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Hotel in Taormina, Italy Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's perfectly-formatted travel itinerary. This is a story, a messy, sweaty, sun-kissed story, and it all begins in the intoxicating heart of Sardinia: The Old Farm Asfodeli - Adults Only, Porto San Paolo. Prepare for things to go off the rails (in the best possible way).
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of Choosing a Sun Lounger
- Morning (Mostly): Land in Olbia, Sardinia. The air hits you like a warm, fragrant slap across the face. Suddenly, I'm questioning every life decision. Did I pack the right sunscreen? Did I really need that third book? Did I TELL my cat I loved her? (Okay, deep breaths. We're here. Focus.) The drive to Porto San Paolo is a revelation. Turquoise water explodes into view around every bend. I think I actually gasp. The Old Farm Asfodeli, nestled amongst olive trees, it has a promise of serene escape… but the road sign said 'Adults-Only' I suddenly wondered if I'm old enough to enter…
- Afternoon (Post-Arrival Brain Melt): Checking in. Honestly, I was too overwhelmed by the beauty to take in anything the receptionist said. I think I just mumbled "grazie" and grabbed the key. My room? Adorable. Simple. Clean. With a balcony overlooking… the damn sea. The first existential hurdle: Choosing a sun lounger. This is a vital step. This is life-altering. Spent a solid hour wandering, eyes squinting, judging the sun angle, the breeze, the proximity to the pool bar (crucial). Settled on a spot near a bougainvillea bush. I'm pretty sure I heard a mosquito laugh.
- Evening (Sunset & Slightly Under-Prepared Aperitivo): The evening rolled around. I made a fatal miscalculation. "Aperitivo," they said. "Relax," they said. I imagined elegant cocktails and sophisticated conversation. Instead, I arrived slightly sweaty, clutching a bottle of water (I'm a hydrating freak, sue me), and feeling woefully underdressed in my linen shorts. Learned rapidly that Aperitivo is a serious business in Sardinia. The cocktails were strong, the snacks were endless (seriously, where do they FIND all the cheese?), and the conversations quickly dissolved into a hilarious jumble of Italian and broken English. I did it with the best of them.
Day 2: Boat Trip of Dreams (and Seasickness)
- Morning (Sun-Drenched Bliss… Followed by Regret): The boat trip! Oh, the boat trip! We'd booked a day excursion along the coast to the islands of Tavolara and Molara. The sun was glorious, the water clearer than my conscience, and I felt like a film star (in slightly too short shorts). Snorkelling amongst the fish was breathtaking. Pictures do not and cannot do it justice. I even managed to avoid a serious sunburn, mostly thanks to the bucket of sunscreen I practically bathed in.
- Afternoon (The Tides Turn - Literally): Ah, the sea. She giveth, and she taketh away. Or, in my case, she taketh away my lunch. The boat hit some choppy waters after lunch, and let's just say the beauty of the coastline became a little less appealing. I spent the next hour praying to Neptune, clutching a bucket, and questioning every single life decision. A kind Italian gentleman offered me a ginger biscuit, which, miraculously, helped. Bless him.
- Evening (Rebuilding & Recovery with Pasta): Back at the Old Farm, I retreated to my room, slightly green around the gills but with a new appreciation for solid ground. Found the strength for a shower. I devoured a plate of pasta. It was the best pasta I have ever tasted. Maybe the sea sickness gave me a new appreciation for life, I certainly felt gratitude for my lovely room.
Day 3: Hiking & Questionable Decisions
- Morning (Embracing the Wild): Hiked up to a viewpoint overlooking the islands. The trail was gorgeous. The sun was beating down. I got ridiculously lost. But the view at the top? Worth every bead of sweat. I was overcome with the need to document it all with photos of me on the summit.
- Afternoon (The Risky Lunch): Deciding where to eat lunch was a mistake. I was lured into a restaurant by the promise of fresh seafood. (I had not recovered from the sea sickness). I ordered something called "spaghetti alle vongole." It was delicious. Too delicious. Later, I had a moment. Let's just say the Old Farm and the nice couple who ran it were very tolerant. (Note to self: stick to dry toast for the rest of the trip).
- Evening (Quiet Reflection & a Bottle of Wine): Spent a quiet evening on my balcony. Watching the stars, listening to the cicadas. Decided to forgive myself for the spaghetti incident. I read a book. I drank wine. I felt… at peace. (Except for the slight underlying worry about tomorrow’s breakfast).
Day 4: Beach Day and the Imperfection of Beauty
- Morning (Beach Patrol): Spent the whole morning jumping in the water, sand, and sun.
- Afternoon (More Beach): More swimming, more sun, more bliss. Decided I'll take the most amazing picture of the local beach.
- Evening (Farewell Aperitivo and a Tear or Two): Back to Aperitivo (this time, armed with a survival kit of ginger biscuits and an iron stomach). Said our goodbyes. Felt a lump in my throat. This trip… it was perfect. (Even with the slightly messy bits). The people, the food, the scenery, the sense of… freedom. I'll miss it terribly.
Day 5: Departure (With a Promise)
- Morning (The Quiet Before the Storm): Woke up early. Took one last walk around the grounds of the Old Farm. Said goodbye to the bougainvillea, the olive trees, the sea.
- Afternoon (Homeward Bound): Drive to the airport. Looked back at Sardinia one last time. Promised myself I'd return. With more sunscreen. And maybe a seasickness remedy. And a better understanding of Italian toilets.
P.S. If you go to The Old Farm Asfodeli, tell them the slightly sea-sick, sometimes-lost, always-hungry, book-hoarding, Aperitivo-loving traveler sent you. They’ll probably laugh - especially if you mention the spaghetti. Enjoy!
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Forbidden Paradise: The Old Farm Asfodeli - Let's Be Real, Okay? (Adults Only, Porto San Paolo) - You Got Questions, I Got Opinions (And Probably Regret)
Okay, First Things First: Is This Actually *Paradise*? 'Cause My Expectations Are... High.
Paradise? Well, let's just say "Paradise" is a *very* subjective term, alright? The marketing photos? Gorgeous. The reality? …Depends. Look, the views from Asfodeli? Unreal. Jaw-dropping. You feel like you can practically reach out and touch Tavolara Island. That part? Absolutely paradise-adjacent. But then, you're remembering you're sharing it with other people. And the pool *might* be more "dip-in-and-quickly-get-out-because-it's-a-touch-chilly". Don't believe it either. I hate the sun... Still, I'd have to admit... beautiful.
My friend, Sarah, she went expecting the Garden of Eden. She ended up, and I quote, "sweating profusely in my fancy linen dress and regretting my life choices slightly." So, manage your expectations, yeah? Prepare for beauty, prepare for rustic charm (which sometimes translates to "slightly crumbling"), and prepare to possibly have a mosquito or two invite themselves to dinner. That's real. That's life.
This "Adults Only" Thing... Is It *Actually* Adults Only? Because, you know, I *did* once see a toddler ninja into a supposedly kid-free spa.
As of my experience… yes! Thank freaking heavens. Look, I love kids. I really do. (From a distance.) But a romantic getaway with the constant potential for a squeaky toy ambush? No thanks. Asfodeli *gets* this. It's a haven of peace, quiet, and not having to pretend you think "Baby Shark" is a masterpiece. I went with my husband, and we spent some time at the pool. We were able to have a conversation without the constant interruption of children's needs.
I can't guarantee there's never been a rogue toddler incident (I'm imagining a tiny, defiant Italian urchin, honestly), but from what I saw, they're pretty strict. It's the *vibe*, you know? The whole place *reeks* of relaxation and uninterrupted adulting. So, yes. Relax. Breathe. Finally, enjoy your peace.
The Rooms: Rustic Charm? Or "Slightly-Falling-Apart-But-Quaint?" Be Honest. I'm Asking Because I'm a Diva.
Okay, so, “rustic charm” is code for “a little rough around the edges.” My room? It was... compact. And by compact, I mean, if I stretched out too far, I could touch both walls. Was it luxurious? No. Charmingly Italian-y? Yes, absolutely. The stonework was beautiful. The exposed beams? Gorgeous. The shower pressure? Eh. Let's just say, I've had more forceful rainstorms. I'm not gonna lie, the pressure was low. But the air conditioning was a godsend. It was blistering hot when I went!
I went with my husband. He's less picky than me. He called it "character." I called it "potentially needing a new tap." But, honestly? The beds were comfy. The linens were clean. And you know what? I ended up appreciating the imperfections. It's not a sterile, cookie-cutter hotel room. It felt *real*. And sometimes, that's what you need. Just don't expect the Ritz. Expect a little bit of… *adventure*.
The Food! Tell me about the food, please. I get hangry.
Okay, the food is… a mixed bag. Breakfast? Basic. Think croissants, some fruit, maybe some yogurt. Nothing mind-blowing, but perfectly acceptable to be fair. Dinner is where it gets interesting. It's usually a set menu, which, for a control freak like me, is mildly terrifying. What if you're not into the choices? What if you don't like fish? Well, then you're screwed.
The first night was a seafood pasta dish. I don't really like pasta, I was worried, I thought it would be a mistake. But it truly surprised me! Excellent. The next night was a roast that was quite tough. Oh man, I was sad. I ate some bread to fill me up. Overall, the food I ate at Asfodeli was pretty good, and the dinners were quite the treat. I recommend it.
Pro-tip? If you have dietary restrictions (or are just a picky eater like me), let them know in advance. They're usually pretty accommodating. And bring snacks. Always bring snacks. Just in case. You know. For emergencies. Like hunger emergencies.
Is there a Spa? Tell me about it.
Good question! Yes. There is a spa. Honestly, it will be the reason that makes you love this place. I adore the spa. It’s the sort of spa that makes you feel more relaxed just *being* there.
Here's my dirty little secret: I'm not generally a spa person. I find them a bit… pretentious, sometimes. But Asfodeli’s spa? Different. It's not overly fancy or fussy. It's calming. The massage? Heavenly. The pool is perfect. I spent hours there one afternoon, just floating around and letting my worries drift away. My husband nearly had to drag me out. I booked myself another massage. It was that good.
Location, location, location! How's the area around Porto San Paolo? Is it easy to get around?
Okay, Porto San Paolo is gorgeous. It’s perfect, it really is! It's a beautiful little coastal area. The beaches are stunning, the water is crystal clear, and the Tavolara Island… well, I could stare at that view all day.
Getting around? You'll need a car, *definitely*. Public transport is… let's just say, not readily available. Unless you are okay with walking a long way, I highly recommend you rent a car at the airport, it is the easiest option, and will allow you to explore the area at your leisure. It does let you explore neighboring towns, and stunning beaches. Without one, you'll feel a bit stranded. And trust me, you'll want to explore. There are little restaurants, and cute bars that are worth checking out. So, pack some sense (and your driving license!).
Overall, would you recommend Forbidden Paradise? BeLocal Hotel Tips
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